A Caucus-Race and a Very True Long Tale!

A long tale
A long tale

In Wonderland Alice gets involved in a caucus race where everyone runs around in no particular order and all are declared winners. Is this the chaos of life where in the end we all end up the same?

The tale the mouse tells is frighteningly similar to the insanity of family court where rulings hardly make sense not to mention the basis for them …
‘Fury said to a
mouse, That he
met in the
“Let us
both go to
law:  I will
YOU.  — Come,
I’ll take no
denial; We
must have a
trial:  For
really this
morning I’ve
to do.”
Said the
mouse to the
cur, “Such
a trial,
dear Sir,
no jury
or judge,
would be
“I’ll be
judge, I’ll
be jury,”
old Fury:
try the

Going to court for custody was chaos.  There were legal fees beyond my wildest dreams and countless hours of reading false accusations and disproving all the bullshit.  It seemed that my ex owned the courthouse considering some of the antics that went down.  On the most memorial court visit his lawyer used sarcasm and downright lies while giving her presentation.  My lawyer was professional providing proof with CAS (Children’s Aid Services) documentation and case examples but the judge said “We know what the society can be like” and dismissed everything she said.

We were in court that time because my ex had refused to show up for his visitation time with my daughter for a month straight without explanation.  He was mad I would not give into his demands so just stopped showing up, then he dragged me into court to get more access.  Yes he refused to see her but took me for more access, I didn’t understand either.  That female judge gave him twice the weekend access time despite his working nights and not being home to care for her.  From that point on she has spent at least one day and night every weekend with him in the care of either his elderly mother or his teenage niece and nephews.

Our last trip to court was to get a final order agreement and avoid a costly trial.  He was completely crazy talking to himself in the hallways and giving lectures to his lawyer about “how it all started”.  The lawyers hashed out a deal that covered 98% of most issues that could come up and was in no ones favour.  I gave up an extra few hours one more evening a week just to get him to sign when he wanted everyday.  Over a year later my daughter continues to complain about that extra 3 hours every Wednesday.  Once signed and he had left his lawyer informed mine that she truly believed he would never stop going after me, that was not what I was hoping to hear.

The rules of family law are preposterous as are the laws on harassment,  child protection and self defense.   Fun facts I have learned about our local laws: you can hit your children within reason, you can leave a child at any age home alone, harassment is subjective, and if your kid refuses to go to court ordered visitation you can be held in contempt of order.  In other laws you can’t move without the nonresidential parents permission.  So the lessons I learned in all of this is that 13 years of abuse means nothing to a court and the nonresidential parent has more rights than the primary parent.  Who came up with this stuff?

Today I  received an email from my ex accusing me of trying to access an old swinger Facebook account we had.  Honestly I had forgotten the email it was connected to and never really concerned myself with it so it has nothing to do with me.  Someone is interested though because he received an email from Facebook stating such.  I suggested he contact Facebook if he was concerned, I received more bashing remarks so I responded that he not contact me unless it was directly about our daughter.  His response is as follows and is the kind of thing I receive far too often.  Lawyers have assured me I must just accept such name calling and accusations as he is breaking no laws.

“I do not want to hear from you again- do not try to access old closed accounts again. 
Your posted swinger poses of fbk pictures are known to everyone and the remaining additions are easily located.
Your photos are everywhere. Ask your swinger friends for copies.
You are of no interests to me in any form. I assure you
Grow up 
Say hi to ______. Didn’t he give you herpes – ?
 Now leave quiet alone you loser slut”

When do I get to live my life in peace if he seems to be the judge and jury and has condemned me to death?


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